


Cloudy Eyes

by Snurtlicious



Category: Togainu no Chi
Genre: Angst, M/M, keisuke alive au, military end
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2014-10-29
Updated: 2014-12-28
Packaged: 2018-02-23 02:40:20
Rating: Mature
Warnings: Graphic Depictions Of Violence, Major Character Death
Chapters: 4
Words: 8,748
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/2530970
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/Snurtlicious/pseuds/Snurtlicious
Summary: <blockquote class="userstuff">
              <p>After years serving Shiki under the protection of his super-soldiers, Akira notices that one of the soldiers is none other than his childhood friend that he thought had died in Igura.</p>
            </blockquote>





	1. Akira

**Author's Note:**

> So I'm still not over Keisuke's death, so I figured I'd just fix at least one of the endings and allow Keisuke a second chance.

Every month on this date, the guard was changed. It was almost a little sad to see them go, but there was no point in holding onto them anymore. It was like clockwork for that particular reason. The S class Line super-soldiers were incredibly trustworthy, but there were always those few in any group that would try to seize power for themselves. This was why the guard changed so frequently. Shiki wasn’t exactly paranoid, he was cautious and intelligent.

After stealing the Nicole virus from Nano, Shiki had spent massive amounts of resources on perfecting it into a side effect free drug that permanently increased a human’s power. He had taken to calling S-Line. S for superior, and also Shiki since his blood was the source. It was an incredible elixir that would enhance the physical and mental powers of anyone that used it and each of these soldiers had proven themselves worthy of it. Still, they were not to be trusted and were being replaced.

They went one at a time. Each of the faces that I’d learned were exchanged for ten more that were unknown from the S-Line Project. Each of them had undergone treatment and were now loyal soldiers for our cause. They lined up before me in their black uniforms, each face perfectly composed.

“Hello soldiers.” I walked slowly in front of them. “For this month, you’ve been chosen for the special task of protection. Do not take this lightly. Any insubordination will be met with immediate execution, but I’m sure you were already aware of that.” I made eye contact with each one of them in a display of power. I lingered on a pair of brown eyes for a moment, a memory struggling to free itself. I shrugged it off. This wasn’t the time for such idle reminiscing. “Dismissed.”

Their stances broke and they filed back out of the room. The brown eyes stayed on me until they were out of the room. Who were they? I oversaw the training camps occasionally, so it was possible I recognized him from there. It was nearly impossible for one soldier to have worked their way up so quickly though. I ignored it. I would see them again and I had the authority to interrogate them as much as I saw fit.

I sighed and leaned back in Shiki’s throne. It was a large, old, ornate chair that sat up near the top of the old Vischio Palace. He would probably be a little upset if he came in, but he’d either strike me across the face or punish me for it later. I chanced it.

So much had happened in the last few years. We’d built an entire empire up and conquered Japan, uniting it under our regime. Shiki dreamed bigger though, and we’d been working on a way to begin conquering the mainland. It was cold, calculated, and methodical. We needed precise planning for everything to go smoothly.

My timer beeped in my pocket and I returned to my office, two of the guards in tow. Neither one of them was brown eyes, so I’d have to find him later and confront him. Surprisingly, clerical work had become part of my regular duties. I expected to accompany Shiki as he readied armies across the country, but I was normally left behind to make sure that our headquarters was secure.

It bothered me at first, but I understood why he did it. It would be stupid for us to leave and then for someone to think they could usurp us by taking his throne. It would just end in dead soldiers and such discourse would be an ill start to a world takeover.

The guard shift changed. As I expected, brown eyes was in here with me and another guard. He wore the same uniform as everyone else, but his shaggy brown hair was longer than what the regulations would have allowed. He must have had some sway to be allowed to get around that rule. His expression stayed stern and hard, but every so often, his eyes would flick down to mine. Taking a moment to pull his features in, I felt like they were somehow familiar. Like I’d seen them a million other times, but my brain was rejecting them for whatever reason.

It was uncomfortable to be trapped under his gaze, like he was judging everything I was doing. I tried to ignore it and work, but I finally snapped at them.

“Soldiers, please exit the room and wait for me to finish this work.” A stifled sigh led the two men out of the room. What was that for? It wasn’t like he was gaining anything by just staring at me like that. I didn’t let it bother me while I filled out the rest of these papers. They were mostly on the production of S-Line. As more soldiers signed up, there were more candidates. Typically Shiki reviewed each one carefully before bestowing the gift of power upon them.

I was almost jealous that they had achieved such unequaled power. My blood was the opposite of Nicole. It could negate its effects with serious consequences. They died. No matter what, they all died. Shiki had used it before to execute one of the super-soldiers that had tried to kill me. He writhed on the ground, had a seizure, and died. It just dredged up some bad memories, so I’d chosen to withdraw from the execution. Shiki beat me later for it. He said that a leader needed to be strong and that I was showing weakness.

I snapped back to it. I still had to have these pushed through to Shiki so he could approve the new S-Line soldiers. It was dreadfully boring work. Thankfully, it was time for dinner and then bed when I got done. A meal would be waiting for me in chamber. I expected Shiki to be back as well, but there was really no way to know for certain until I got there.

I pulled open the large wooden door and stepped into the bedroom with the guards on my tail. The large canopy bed sat empty, a small tray next to it. It was my meal for the evening. I’d requested that they just send up whatever the regular was and so far, it was nothing too extravagant. I kicked my shoes off and walked over to the tray.

“Omelet rice?” I didn’t want to eat it. Something about today had just been weird. First the guard had been acting strange, and now for the first time in literal years I’ve been served a rice omelet?

I turned to face the other guard. “Please leave me alone with him for a moment.” He nodded, looking between the two of us with an amorous eye. He must have been thinking that I was going to have sex with his fellow guard. That would be disgusting, and not good for morale. I’d have to reprimand him for it later, but for now.

“Who the hell are you?” I stepped over and pulled the black hat off his long, shaggy hair. I was breathing heavily, and staring into those brown eyes, a smile came across his face.

“Akira,” he whispered. Not that voice.

No, it was impossible. The hat slipped from my shaking fingers, creating a sharp clatter across the stone floor.

“K-Keisuke?” I reached my hand forward and touched him, just to make sure that I wasn’t dreaming. Ever since that night, I’d just tried to ignore that he was gone. I never once thought he’d return to me, never like this. Why hadn’t I recognized him? I peered into his eyes, but his face was a little different. His jawbone was more defined and any fat on his face was gone. He looked dignified, manly… and handsome. He was nothing like the Keisuke I used to know, but there was a ghost of his previous self somewhere in those eyes. Those eyes that haunted my nightmares, clouded with Line.

“Akira.” He pulled me into a tight hug, his own scent mixing with that of the uniform’s detergent. “Let’s run away from here. We can finally be together.” His voice suddenly called back memories that I had sealed away. Bl@ster fights, the apartments we lived in together, his blue coveralls, and his scent of soap with a hint on machinery oil. I clenched my teeth.

“I can’t just leave. I have duties, besides,” I pulled back. “You’ve been dead to me for years.” It was a little more callous than I meant for it to come off, but he didn’t seem fazed. Before all this, my own harsh words were what led to his death, or what I thought was his death. I’d hardened my heart since then, and I didn’t try to preserve his feelings.

“Akira, please. I’ve done so much to get back to you, and I only have this month. After that, I’m being relocated and I’m leaving Japan forever. I’ll escape.” He gave a look of longing that I’d seen so many times before, not knowing what they meant. “I want you to come with me.”

“No.” I turned away from him, breaking all bodily contact. “I won’t go with you, but I’ll let you escape. It’s the least I can do for you after all we’ve been through.” _After all I’ve done to you,_ I wanted to add. It was my fault he’d ended up dead… but he wasn’t dead. It was almost more painful to believe that he’d been alive this entire time, that he’d joined the military force, and he’d… “Did you take S-Line?”

He nodded. “I was afraid to take it… afraid that I’d end up like I was on normal Line, but nothing changed. I’m still me, Akira. I came back for you. Just for you.” My heart screamed in my chest, but I couldn’t just leave. There was too much at stake.

“Shiki will kill you if he learns your true identity. How did you even manage to make it this far?” He finally looked down. He must have done something truly reprehensible. He could never handle something like that easily. Or he never could have then. Who knew what he’d gone through? The training camp was truly rigorous and it wasn’t unusual for people to accidentally die.

“After I woke up from my Line addiction, I still had all the strength it had given me, but I was me again. I looked everywhere in Toshima for you, but once the armies started to roll in…” He kept his gaze trained on the floor. “I’m sorry, Akira. I could have spared you of this, if only I hadn’t taken that Line. None of this would have happened.” His voice broke and he covered his face with his gloved hands.

“Keisuke, I’m –” the door opened and the other guard stepped in.

“What is it?” My tone was suddenly full of venom. I wasn’t sure if it was for the moment that he’d interrupted or if I was tired of hearing Keisuke’s begging.

“The shift is changing, sir.” He spoke in a low, nasally voice. Under any other circumstances, a blatant disruption would have resulted in punishment. However, Keisuke had worn me down even farther after the long, boring day I’d had and I was in no mood for that.

“Then go,” I turned to face the bed. “Both of you.” I heard my name come from breathy voice, but I didn’t react. He had no right to come in here after all these years and act like nothing had changed. The door clicked closed and I was left in the dark. The only light streamed from the pale moon outside the windows.

I wanted to scream and bury my head in the pillows. I wanted to claw my throat out. I wanted to know how Keisuke had been alive and I’d never known until now. I felt tears threaten to spill over, and I bit down hard onto my tongue, tasting the blood flowing between my teeth. I had promised myself that I’d never cry for him again. Not since the fall of Toshima. Not since Shiki had seized power and we’d lived a life of power and excess.

Shiki had given me the strength and motivation to move on, but what was that strength now that all I’d moved on from was right in front of me again? I was back at square one and I couldn’t help but think: could we even be what we once were? I was a fool back then. I’d let the only person that was ever important to me slip away and I’d never forgiven myself when I saw him lying there.

It had been raining that night. I tackled him to the ground and he cut my hand. My blood dripped onto his cheek and was washed into his mouth by the downpour. My blood, poison to anyone on Line. He had done what all the others did. He had seizures, screamed, and then he slipped away, like the water running into the gutters, his life drained beyond my reach.

If I had died then, I would have been fine. I had nothing better to live for, at least not until Shiki found me. He’d helped me recover after the death of my friend. Even if it seemed like torture at first, I had learned to appreciate him. He helped me and I helped him.

Now I sat in this room, waiting for him to return for me so we could consummate our union. The union of power between us. Nicole and it’s opposite. We held the sun and moon in our hands, or so I thought. A lot had changed since those days.

Shiki had become consumed with rising beyond the confines of this island and I supported him. I had promised to do so forever.

Why was I suddenly having second thoughts?


	2. Keisuke's Lost Days

I wanted to say that it was raining that night. I wanted to say that was the night I’d died. That I hadn’t attacked Akira, that I hadn’t seen what that man did to him, that I hadn’t been able to find him. The real truth of the matter was that I didn’t remember a lot from then. Hazy flashes of blood had haunted me ever since those nights. I was high on the rush of Line, feeling no shame or remorse for the lives that I took, even going so far as to get a sexual thrill. Until Akira found me in that alley.

I had woken up in the street, clothes heavy with water. That was how I’d known it rained. Every part of my body felt like I’d been electrocuted to the brink of death, but then allowed to live at the last moment. I wanted to die. I was ready for it to happen. I wanted someone to come down the alley, steal my tags, and then just end my miserable life quickly.

It hadn’t happened like that, though. I just laid there until the abominable pain radiating through my body lessened. I figured then that the Line had passed through my system, leaving its blessing and curse behind. I had leaned forward in the damp street. My clothes were stained in blood, the concrete around me was covered in blood. Akira…

That man had come to take him, but I was going to take him back. I had to apologize to him, I had to. I was afraid that he was dead, that it was my fault. I got up to search around in the trash and rubble, knowing that if I found his corpse, I would take the knife from the man I’d killed and… what? Kill myself?

Yes, that was it. It was the last debt to Akira I’d be able to repay and then we could be together in the afterlife. To my relief, and panic, I didn’t find him. That only made me feel worse. That means that man, I supposed he was Shiki, had taken Akira away. I scrambled across Toshima, looking everywhere, buildings, alleys, anywhere, everywhere… nowhere.

Akira was nowhere to be found. I had collapsed in the street, trying to keep the sobs from destroying me. He was gone and it was likely that I would never see him again. I’d failed in the mission that I’d come to Toshima to accomplish. All I’d wanted was for Akira to be safe and I would never know if he was. I sobbed in the street and just stayed there. I didn’t care any longer. Akira thought I was dead anyways, so it wouldn’t change anything for him if I never came back.

It wasn’t until the armies started to roll in that things changed. I fled north and was taken in by their forces. I got a job for with mechanic and tried to resume life nearly like what I’d had in the CFC… just without Akira.

It was okay though. A few months had gone by. One of my coworkers was this really nice guy and he let me move in with him. He was cute, and nice, and when he tried to kiss me the first time under the great oak near our work, I let it happen. He was nothing like Akira. His dark hair and bright eyes greeted me every morning when I opened my eyes and each day when we returned to the apartment, he would let me touch him. It was passionate and emotional and everything I ever wanted.

Time passed, I felt myself missing Akira less and less. Until…

About a year after I’d escaped from Toshima, fallen in love with someone, built a life for myself, everything came tumbling down. That man, Shiki, had gained some power, something I didn’t understand, and he’d built an army. He was using it to invade that day. I’d gotten sick and stayed home from work. I wasn’t there to save him from the soldiers storming the town.

By the time I got to where he was, a simple bullet hole in his heart and empty eyes were all I could see. Those eyes that had smiled into mine a thousand times, that had let me move in with him, that had given me everything that I thought I could never have, a home and love, were gone. I just collapsed on his body, not being able to hold back anything. Why did this have to happen again?

Was I not meant to fall in love and be happy? I brushed my lips onto his one last time, praying that his end had come swiftly and that his thoughts were of our love. I found myself there for a long while, just protecting him, hoping they would come back and kill me as well.

That wasn’t where the story ends, though. I carried his body to the tree near where we worked and buried him. This was the place where he’d given me the first kiss, the one that brought back my hope, filled the hole left in my heart. My heart hardened a little after that. I found myself returning to the south, to the old city of Toshima. I’d lost everything I’d ever had because of that man, Shiki. I would kill him even if my own life were lost in the process. It was my resolution.

It was never that easy though. I had to fight my way there. It was the first time since Igura that I was thankful for the strength that Line had left me with. Once I arrived in Toshima, or whatever it was called now, I realized things were very different. There were large banners everywhere with his face, Shiki’s face… and Akira.

The first time I saw Akira in that uniform, realized that he was responsible for this mess, I was furious and sad. He was my first love and responsible for the death of my second. It was almost poetically ironic in a way. Akira had never shown any semblance of reciprocation for my feelings. The last time I even have clear memories of him was… that night in the neutral zone.

The neutral zones.

I sought out the only person I could think of. Motomi was still around for some ungodly reason. He said he was a neutral party and that there wasn’t any real reason for him to have been killed. I asked him about Akira, how to get to him, how to rescue him, any information, anything.

Motomi set me on the path that I was on. He told me my only chance to ever see Akira again would be to join Shiki’s army, try to get into the special ops.

“Get into the S-Line program and you can be in any branch that you want to be in.” He’d laughed, thinking I’d fail. Before all this, I wouldn’t have bothered. I would have respected Akira’s decision to leave me behind, or at least I’d have tried to follow him.

So I enlisted, but not with my real name. I wanted to remain as low profile as possible. Getting overzealous would result in either my death, or my discovery by Akira before I was ready. I needed to ensure that when the time came for us to meet that I would have the power to kill Shiki. The name I used was of the man that I had killed, in hope that maybe I could have his name in the history books. Takeru was the one that killed Shiki and removed possibly the harshest dictator in world history. It was the least I could do to repent.

That was what I chose to believe.

Training camp was brutal and many people died. Because of my Line power, I rose quickly through the ranks of the lower soldiers. In a matter of months, I was being recommended for the S-Line program by my superiors. I was put through another rigorous training camp. This one pushed me to the brink and I thought I was going to die, never having gotten to see Akira’s face. Experiments were done and I was determined to be the most compatible subject with the S-Line that they’d ever had.

I was afraid. I was more terrified than I’d been since I couldn’t find Akira in Toshima, since my lover had died in Niddouren. What if I went on the S-Line and became like I was during Igura? Would I be unable to control my actions, to seek out Akira relentlessly and kill him?

I nearly screamed when the needle entered my skin. All at once, it felt like my cells were being torn apart, reformed, made new, stronger. I woke up later, hoping that I was still me. I looked in the mirror. My hair had grown just like his. A tear trailed down my cheek for my lost love, buried under that tree. I hoped he was at peace. I just wanted that more than anything, even more than I wanted to save Akira. He’d been so good to me, too good to me and he’d ended up dead because of it.

I’d been unconscious for a few weeks at that point. My high compatibility with S-Line caused it to change a good bit of the way my body functioned. I felt lighter, but thicker, like my muscle mass had increased in density. My mind felt sharp and clear again, like layers of trauma had been scraped off. I felt my resolve solidify. This was the power I needed to kill Shiki. Once the post-program camp began, I was the best at everything from my class. Any task, no matter what, I destroyed any competition.

In three short years, I’d lost it all, gained it again, lost it again, joined the army, and now I stood before Akira. He looked so different. Even before going to Toshima, he’d been distant. His eyes still seemed kind to me then, human, the eyes that I loved. Now his eyes looked cold, hard, calculated. He’d discarded it all in favor of power. Even me.

I wasn’t surprised that he didn’t recognize me. I didn’t even recognize myself after all I’d gone through. I had muscles, long hair, and a broken look in my eyes. Even in the application for the Special Guard, it states that you’ll never be able to return to the capitol afterwards. I took that risk. It gave me a month to remind Akira of me, to show him I loved him, and if he refused, I’d kill Shiki and force him to leave with me.

Our first meeting hadn’t gone like I’d planned. He wasn’t shocked by our visit at all, and he’d said cruel things to me before I’d been called back. My shift was over for the evening and it was time to eat and sleep.

I never had much luck with sleeping anymore. All those that I’d lost haunted me, and his lips were the only thing I ever dreamt of anymore, his arms around my waist, the feel of his hair in my hands. I woke up crying, the pain of loss still a fresh wound in my chest.

It was regular for me, normal. The next guard shift wasn’t until the same time in the evening. Each night I guided Akira from his office to his room. After our initial meeting, he ignored me. I spoke to him still, reminding him that our days were numbered. Shiki had yet to show himself while I was around. I never saw him until the second week.

He sauntered in with his katana hung over his shoulder, clad in his black uniform. He didn’t make eye contact with me or the other man standing guard. He passed into the bedroom silently. In a matter of moments, Akira’s shouts rang out through the chamber. They weren’t painful grunts, it was… moans of pleasure, of lust, of ecstasy.

It made my skin crawl to know that he was being touched like that by Shiki. I had wanted that to be so many times and it never happened. There had to be some way for me to convince Akira to come back to me. He was the only way that I could kill Shiki. Akira’s blood had power that I had learned about from the other S-Line participants.

Apparently one of them had tried to kill Akira in a play of power and he’d been executed with an injection of Akira’s blood. It contained the opposite of the virus that powered Shiki. If I could convince him to allow me use of his blood, I could weaken Shiki and kill him. That would end the S-Line program and his regime.

Theoretically speaking, so many power plays would be made to take over his empire that they would all kill each other and it would fall on its own. That wouldn’t matter though, since Akira and I would be heading for the mainland, for America, for anywhere else in the world.

I tried not to stare daggers at Shiki as he sauntered out of the room, oozing confidence, arrogance. I wanted to kill him then, to make up for everything he’d taken from me. I clenched my fist and resisted. This wasn’t the time to be headstrong. I’d made this plan and I was going to stick to it. I just needed Akira back more than anything.

He was all I had left.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> I wanted Keisuke to have like a tragic story between Igura and Shiki's army. I think it set up a lot of his motivations and characterization. 
> 
> Also I am thirsty for feedback, so if you review, I will love you forever.


	3. Three More Steps

Keisuke had been relentless. Each time I spoke with him, saw the look in his eyes, it wore me down a little more. Even if I let the month pass and he slipped away to the mainland, would that be okay? He was my oldest friend, the only one I’d ever cried for, the only one I probably ever would cry for.

So was it really okay for me, knowing all the things that he had done to get to me, to let him leave so easily? Without even so much as acknowledging him? All of these questions weighed heavily on me, but I knew they must weigh even more heavily on him. He’d given everything up, or had it taken from him, to get to me.

I glanced up from where I sat at my desk. Keisuke stood there with the other guard, but he only ever looked at me. A smile played at the corners of his mouth, but went no farther. I can’t even imagine the torture he must’ve gone through to cause him to not smile as broadly as he might have. Back in the CFC, Keisuke greeted me every morning, grinning ear to ear. He’d always been there, so there was no point in expecting anything different.

By the time I realized what it was Keisuke felt, it was too late. I guess I had some obligation to him to speak with him, even though I’d been ignoring him until now. I sent the other guard out of the room. He gave me the same look as last time, just assuming that we were doing _that._ Not that I hadn’t with Shiki multiple times… they had been outside, he must’ve heard. I felt my cheeks flush a little.

“Akira, I—” I raised my hand to stop him. He looked a little crestfallen, but complied.

“Keisuke, I want to apologize to you.” I broke eye contact and stared at his boots. “I shouldn’t have been so cold to you before. I’ve been thinking about your offer, and I… honestly don’t know anymore.” I put my head in my hands. “I pledged my loyalty to Shiki, but seeing you again has caused me to feel regret and pain like you can’t imagine. I thought you were dead for three years. I didn’t want to remember and I forced thoughts of you down until I didn’t.” I bit back down on my tongue to suppress the tears that welled up. Not this again.

“Akira, it makes me so glad to hear you say that. I’ve already been working on a plan to escape, but…” His expression grew serious, and a cold silence hung in the air. “There’s something I have to do before I leave, Akira. I can’t do it without you.” I pulled my hands down.

“I can’t promise you anything, Keisuke.” I stood from the swiveling chair and moved around the desk. “But I think I owe you to try.” His brown eyes, normally so warm, met mine with an icy edge.

“I want to kill Shiki.” He clenched his jaw, but he was adamant in his decision. That would be next to impossible, not without…

“You want me to help you kill him? I can’t do that, it would be… wrong.” I took a step back and bumped into the desk. My expression had darkened to the point where I wasn’t sure if I could even trust Keisuke anymore. Was I really going to escape with him?

“And what you’re doing here isn’t wrong? He’s been killing people.” His eyes went down and his expression became very morose. “You’ve been killing people too, Akira.”

He was right, of course. At some point I guess I had just accepted that for us to rise, others had to die. Who was I to say that killing someone would be wrong after all of that?

“I know that, but I can’t just…turn my back on him and let you kill him. Whether you like it or not, he’s the only reason that I’m even alive right now.” I wanted to scream at him. “After you… died, I told him to do whatever he wanted with me. I thought he would just kill me, but he didn’t.”

“Akira, I’ve been through three years of hell because of him. I didn’t want to tell you, but after I left Toshima, I met someone else. You would’ve liked him, I think. I thought I’d never love anyone again after you were gone, but I did.” He reached a gloved hand up to clutch his forehead. “And he’s dead because of Shiki.”

“Keisuke, I’m—”

“Just don’t, Akira. I know what you’re going to say, and I’m alright. It’s been a long time since then, and I’m only here for you. Just think about it, at least.” He turned to the door. “I’m calling the other guard back. If we spend too much time alone, it’ll look suspicious.”

I nodded and returned back to my chair, pulling out some papers to look busy. Despite that, my mind stayed idle for the rest of the day. I watched Keisuke for the rest of his shift, just staring at me with a gentle smile.

What was he expecting from me? Was it really alright to let him kill Shiki and then to run off to the mainland with him? Keisuke had never asked much of me, but this was a lot to take in. I ran off to my room and just locked myself in, waiting for Shiki to come back and…

What? Could I do that with him in a clear conscience now? Keisuke must’ve known it had happened, but he wasn’t upset, or he didn’t mention it.

I sighed deeply and buried my face in the blankets. I just wanted all of these thoughts racing in my head to quit so I could have a few moments of peace. I just focused on the sound of my heart beating to calm myself. I was nearly asleep when Shiki stormed in.

I shot up in the bed, but didn’t say anything. He had that look in his eye, but I wasn’t feeling well still. My stomach was in knots and I hadn’t even touched my meal. He came over quickly and pulled my shirt up and forced his hands onto my chest.

“Shiki, stop, I don’t feel good today.” I struggled against him a little. He wasn’t stopping, he just crushed his mouth onto mine to quiet my complaining. I fought him more. “Seriously, I’m not okay with this right now.”

He didn’t listen to me and did the entire deed. He capped it off with a punch that glanced off the side of my head, promising me that he’d do worse if I resisted again. As soon as the door closed, I was a puddle of tears on the bed. What had I even been doing here all these years?

Ever since Shiki took the Nicole virus, he hadn’t been the same. I guess I just hoped somewhere in the back of my head that he’d still remember me, that he valued me, that he… loved me?

I was just being ridiculous now. He had never loved me, even when he first took me away. I was so obsessed with forgetting Keisuke that I just let Shiki do whatever he wanted to me. I expected so much from him, but I guess I just realized that I’ve been lying to myself to feel better.

I needed to see Keisuke right away. I climbed out of the bed, feeling the sting of the cold marble on my bare feet. I snuck out into the hallway, conscious of the guards watching me. I commanded them to remain at their post and sped off towards the barracks for the S-Line soldiers. He’d be there waiting for me, I knew it.

I pushed the door open and peeked inside. The few guards that worked the early shift had already gone to sleep, and the room was silent and dark. I considered just going back and waiting until the morning, but I felt like I’d lose my motivation if I did. If I didn’t tell him now, then it wouldn’t happen.

Working my way down the bunks, I finally spotted his form under a blanket. I sat down on the firm mattress and pulled the navy blue blanket up enough for me to slide in next to him.

“Keisuke, wake up.” I shook his shoulder a little, not getting a response. “It’s me, Keisuke, wake up.”

“Five more minutes, Takano, we don’t have to be at work until the sun comes up, remember?” He rolled over and opened his eyes. For however brief a moment, he was smiling and his eyes were like the ones I remembered, full of happiness and light. Once he looked at me, realized I wasn’t… _him_ , he reverted.

“Akira!” He leaned up a little, but I quieted him. “What are you doing here?”

“I needed to tell you that I would go with you.” I pushed my head into his chest. “I’m sorry, I’m so sorry.”

His arms closed around me and he whispered my name. What would’ve happened if we’d escaped Toshima together all those years ago? Would we have lived together, dated and been happy? Would we have been in love? I could only hope that in some other timeline, we could’ve been happy together. Or at least Keisuke could’ve been happy without me.

When he said his name, I felt my heart skip. I wanted it to be mine that he laughed to, that he smiled when he said. I felt sick. He could still be with this other love and have left me behind if not for Shiki.

“Akira,” he pulled my face back and then his expression darkened. “What happened to your face?”

My eyes widened a little. I had nearly forgotten about my altercation with Shiki. I’d been so focused on Keisuke that the pain had just joined with my headache and had been forgotten. “Shiki… hit me when I wouldn’t have sex with him.”

Keisuke inhaled sharply and I just kept my eyes on the white shirt that he was wearing. Just like that one from all those years ago, but it was missing the black stitching around the collar. I wondered what happened to that shirt and those coveralls. They’d been left behind in favor of a military uniform. A uniform that didn’t fit him, would never fit the sweet, innocent friend that I’d left behind.

“Will you help me with that then too?” His voice was cold, and it reminded me of when he was on Line. I felt a shiver run down my spine.

“I will.” I choked out.

After a heated conversation, we decided to work out our escape plan prior to enacting the plan to take Shiki down. We had military aircraft that could travel thousands of miles on a small amount of fuel, so I had one reserved for my personal usage. No one would question why I was commandeering one, so unless Shiki asked me specifically, I’d be safe.

I collected my belongings slowly, bit by bit, going so far as to revive my jacket from all those years ago. I’d never worn it since I was appointed to my position in Shiki’s army. It just sat back in a closet, hung under the assumption that the old Akira would never return, that Shiki wouldn’t stop caring about me, that I would have a home.

It didn’t work out that way for me. I’d had a few places to stay, sure, but as soon as somewhere felt like a home, something would come along and take it away from me. This was no different, but it somehow was? Keisuke felt like home to me, a home I’d lost but could regain.

Shiki had been out for a week, and Keisuke’s time here was nearing its end. We could still run away together if he didn’t show, but Shiki would relentlessly hunt us down and try to kill us forever. It was a risk I was willing to take. This month had changed everything, and I prepared a syringe of my blood to incapacitate Shiki the next time he and Keisuke were in the same vicinity.

It was only a matter of time, of course. Keisuke was on guard outside the room when Shiki walked in. I was splayed out on the bed, pretending to be coy and lustful. Just a few more steps and it would all be over.

Just three more steps and I’d be free.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> I am so sorry that it took me so long to update! I didn't realize that it had been over a month, but I'M BACK I PROMISE.


	4. Home

Akira:

He had already plunged inside and it was as good a time as any. The only real problem was the hand firmly in place around my throat. If I made my move too soon, he would rip my head from my shoulders and Keisuke would be down another friend, or maybe lover? Could we even get back to a point where we could be together?

I could barely even keep my mind focused from the rough pounding and mild asphyxiation. This escape would be undignified to say the least, but there was no time to make sure that I could waltz out of here fresh as a daisy. I’d likely be covered in sweat and blood, amongst other bodily fluids. I just hoped that it would go according to plan.

As soon as he climaxed, his hand fell from my throat and I stabbed the syringe deep into the side of his throat, shoving the plunger down. The next moment was a whirlwind as Shiki fell quickly collapsed next to me on the bed and I shouted for Keisuke to storm into the room. He had already incapacitated the other guard and had a knife drawn and ready to strike.

Shiki was convulsing wildly, but there was no way to truly know if it was a ruse until we drew close enough to strike. I breathed heavily from behind Keisuke, allowing his slightly wider shoulders to shield me. I could see his throat pulsing strongly. We were probably both hyped up on adrenaline, but his was stronger.

He’d gone through Line in Toshima, the S-Line treatments, he had the modified Nicole virus pumping through his veins right now. Was he really any different than Shiki at this point? They had both been fully compatible with it, more than almost anyone… other than that strange man that he took the virus from.

The knife rose slowly with each step towards the bed. We stood over the writhing body of Shiki, just long enough to feel pity. In the time it took me to blink, I laid half-conscious against the wall. The fluttering of my eyelashes as I struggled to remain alert hid most of the event from me.

I just saw completely blood red eyes, the iris, the sclera, it all. My blood was poison in his body, my blood was poison to his body. The only poison left that could destroy him. He thought keeping me this close to him would protect him, but he just pushed me away until I found my out. The base had been taken out of this house of cards and it began to gently flutter down.

A hot splash of blood on my face jolted me awake. Keisuke had managed to cut Shiki quite a few times, but it was only because he was unarmed. Shiki had discarded any of his cold logic. The look on his face was thirst for survival, rage, instinct. This was probably the closest to the old Shiki that I would ever get again.

I slid my back up against the cold wall, suddenly aware of the fact that I was still bottomless. My shirt hung long enough to cover all my sensitive areas, but my legs were lightly spattered with blood. I could feel the skin rising all over my back. I’d likely sprained a rib or two, but I’d have to deal with it later.

As soon as I made eye contact with Shiki, he was upon me. Another rib was bruised as he pressed me back into the wall. His cloudy eyes gazed into mine, the pupil swallowed by a sea of red. His lips pressed into mine hard, drawing blood. Then they slid down to my neck, my collarbone, before his teeth sunk into my shoulder. I screamed, not bothering to hold my voice down.

Everyone else had been sent away by this hour, and the other guard laid unconscious outside. Keisuke was taking longer than I expected to come over, but I quickly realized why. The knife that he had clutched so fiercely now pierced through Shiki’s chest, the tip glimmering dark red. They say that humans survive for fifteen seconds after either the brain or heart is injured.

Only one of those seconds was with our eyes locked together before Shiki crumpled to the floor, nothing more than another corpse to add to the death count of this god awful place. Keisuke’s face was horrifying. It was a twisted sneer with an ice cold gaze, and I felt myself flashback to that alleyway, when I thought he was dead.

One after another, the tears slipped hot and free down my face, leaving dark spots on the white shirt. Keisuke kept mumbling to himself, and I reached down to pop open a button. There was one more thing that I had to do to free myself. Exposing my stomach, I eyed the glittery red jewel that adorned my navel. It was the first mark he’d given me to let me know that I was his property.

My shaky hands reached down to pull it out with little resistance. It clinked quietly on the hard floor, landing near the ever growing pool of blood. Suddenly resolute, I padded over and pulled my pants and jacket back on. Keisuke still hadn’t moved and still muttered under his breath.

“What are you doing, we need to go.” I tugged on the jacket of his uniform, and his arms wrapped around me, painfully clutching the badly bruised ribs.

“I’ve been waiting for this for three years, Akira. I took his life just like Takano’s was taken, one clean shot through the heart. I just hope that he can finally find peace.” His voice broke at the end, and I could tell from the shaking in his chest that his tears flowed freely.

“The only one that needs to find peace now is you, Keisuke.” I pulled my head out of the crook of his neck to look him in the face. “It’s been too long since you’ve worn a smile and I want to see it again. Not that broken look or icy edge, just your smile. Let’s go.” I winced as I wrenched his arms off me, but pressed on, pulling him behind me. Keisuke drug the other guard into the room and placed him near the corpse. That wouldn’t be suspicious at all.

It was a frantic run down stark white halls to the port. If we were spotted, it would be bad. I couldn’t reasonably justify being here with a single guard this late in the evening. However, the compound should’ve been mostly asleep, or at dinner.

Little did they know that their leader was dead. It would likely end the S-Line program as well, and once fights for leadership took over, the rest of the aces would kill each other and leave the deck to clean up the remnants of the house.

We took the route that was most likely to be empty. Finally, I spotted the door for the hangar. Keisuke had stuck to my back like glue, holding my hand in a vice grip. It was calming, despite the fear I felt as we entered. No one surveyed this area since it was locked down tighter than a bank. I had the key codes though, I learned new ones every other week. I punched the twelve digits into the screen and cringed as the large steel door creaked open loudly.

“Go, it should be all gassed up. I’ll be right behind you.” I pointed to the only nearby aircraft. It was stronger than a helicopter and faster than a plane. I knew that the one surefire way to stifle any followers would be to put the compound on full lockdown. If I timed it perfectly, we could be up and out before the hangar door shut.

I took a deep breath and pushed the final key. I burst into a run, throwing myself into the pilot’s seat, maneuvering us into the sky. One last look at the broken remains of what was once Tokyo, and we were gone.

Free.

\---

Keisuke:

I had won.

…survived was probably more correct.

Winning means that nothing was lost in the process of the battle, but I had lost. Lost him, found someone else, and then I lost him too.

I’d closed that book though. Akira was next to me in the pilot’s seat, taking us hundreds of kilometers away from here. It was only a matter of time before we were out of the tatters of Japan. There was just… one last place I wanted to return to.

I showed Akira on the map and we went to the rubble of my old village, to the oak tree where my heart lay buried.

Akira couldn’t help but ask me why we stopped here, but when he spotted the small mound, it sparked a realization.

“Is this… him?” He stood next to me, his eyes searching for some truths in my own. I kept opening and closing my mouth, all words escaping me. “What was he like?”

“Oh, Akira.” I felt my lips curl up. “You would’ve loved him. He was really smart and really loud, and he could always tell if you were skipping meals, and he stole my heart like I couldn’t even believe. He was… amazing.” He squeezed my hand. “I loved him, I still love him. Takano, I miss you more than you can even believe. I never imagined that you would ever come into my life, but you were gone before I could even memorize the smell of your hair in the morning or how you liked to leave your toothbrush in the sink, or how you liked to hold my hand when we walked home from work and kiss me right here under this tree.” I sunk down to my knees.

“I’m sorry that I wasn’t there to save you.” I whispered, placing hand against the soil that held him so tight. “But this is our last goodbye, I’m leaving Japan, just like you always talked about.”

All this time, Akira just stood by and watched, his eyes silently mournful. I didn’t want to be here any longer, Takano would want me to move on. He always said that we should learn to be happy with what we’re given. That was what he said when I told him about Akira, before he kissed me for the first time.

We left to return to the ship. Neither of us had really spoken since we left the gravesite. “Keisuke, this might sound insulting, but I’m sorry.” He took a deep breath. “And thank you.”

I tilted my head up, confused. “What are you thanking me for?”

He looked off into the night sky. “Because without you, I’d still be in Toshima, under Shiki’s thumb. I didn’t know that things like this were…” His voice broke off. “That’s a lie. I did know, I just chose to ignore the fact that the army killed hundreds of innocent people for no reason. I’m no better than Shiki, you should just kill me too.”

I stopped walking and just stared at him. “What did you just say?”

His eyes were full of sorrow and regret and that was the answer that I got.

“I’ve done worse than anyone in my position could have. I tried to kill you in Toshima, killed Shiki, killed so many people, Akira. I think it’s time that we accept that what we’ve done isn’t right and try to make up for it. Don’t say you want me to kill you ever again!” I stomped over and threw my arms around him, pulling him into a tight hug.

I opened my lips to speak again, but a pair of lips collided with them, cutting my words off.

“Can you really be with me again?” Akira’s voice was weak, nervous, something that I never would’ve gotten from him before now.

“If I could have it my way, we never would’ve separated.” I kissed him again and again, only separating when we became too cold to be outside any longer.

We headed off towards the mainland together. This was it.

I’d found home.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> HERE IT IS I'M SO GLAD THIS FIC IS OVER OH MY GOD. 
> 
> No, but for realsies, I had a lot of fun working on this. Can I even call it fun? This was literally so traumatizing and I'm the one that wrote it. Thanks so much for all the support that I got while working on it, and to repent, I'm going to post the KeiAki Christmas short that I wrote too.
> 
> One thing I thought was fun was that I tied the title back in. In the beginning it actually started off as a reference to Keisuke in Igura, but it ended up being the harbinger of doom for Shiki. May god rest his soul. Lol.


End file.
